I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
