You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
