I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
pray to the hookup gods
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Randomize
