You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
