I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
