Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
