just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Walk of Shame today included voting.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize