Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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