No awkward lesbian experiences without me
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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