I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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