hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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