stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
The best revenge is premature balding
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
