The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
