Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
