i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
