the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize