You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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