Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
