I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
