Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
