I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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