Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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