I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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