I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
