Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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