Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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