He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Come on in and take your pants off
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