sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
