So drunk, too bad you don't want this
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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