At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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