hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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