do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
