it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
