My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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