So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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