Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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