you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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