it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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