She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
