you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
