Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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