are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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