try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I need to calm my uterus...
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
