they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
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