I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
