I just threw up on my dentist
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
