Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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