Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
