he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
