I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Randomize