you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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