i jhust puked up my retainher.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize