idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize