Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
