I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I party with great urgency now.
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