I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Just invented taco cereal.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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