yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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