arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
