I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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